no more breeding please

Guy: Did you hear the news?
Girl: What news?
Guy: Kwamis got aids!
Girl: What?
Guy: Yeah, it was in the news yesterday. All about Kwame sex-texting his aids and shit!
Girl: Ohhh god… Promise me you won’t breed.
Guy: What? Ok. Why? …What?….fuck.

- Middlebelt

Heard by: Bob

bass ackwards

Dad: Son, you need to read this book!

Thuggish Son: Man this book is called “Ass Backwards“… I heard that book ain’t no joke.

Dad: Read it or imma back yo ass into the lake!

- Off of 8 Mile Rd.

Heard by: Choppa

humble pie

Student: “I make a mean pie. And by mean, I mean it tastes terrible.”

-Grand Blanc

Overheard by: Can I Have Pie for Dinner?

(Thanks for your submission, keep ‘em coming everyone!)

the goggles do nothing

Woman: “Do you have those thong girdles?”

- The Avenue (plus-sized clothing store)

Heard by: That’s gotta hurt

do you want a cookie?

Sloppy fat guy on cell phone at internet conference: Hey, I’m glad you called! I’m just about to drive back to Chicago in the 2008 Shelby Mustang that I rented.

-Grand Rapids

Overheard by: Not Impressed

because of people like you

the assman cometh

Guy: I’ll stick my dick in yer ass! Because thats the kind of man I am!

-Lincoln Park

Overheard by: Holly

ladies man in the making

Man: Where’s your mother? Go find your mother. There she is, go to her.
Toddler: HEY BABY, BABY! Hey Baby! HEY! YO BABY!
Embarrassed mother: Ummm ok, It’s time for us to go… (Bolts for door)

–Ford Road Target, Canton

Overheard by: Envious of the kid’s mad skills with the ladies

kick the baby

Punk Kid: Come on lady, shut your kid up! Makes me want to kick all the teeth out of her baby’s face!
Girl: Babies don’t have teeth.
Punk: See? That’s because they wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

–Emagine Movie Theater

Overheard by: Bob

Welcome

Welcome to Overheard in Detroit! Please feel free to use the form on the right to submit your eavesdroppings. Lets get this thing filled up!